you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
