my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have aggressive nipples.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
