Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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