He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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