How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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