All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize