lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
