Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
