I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
