sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
