how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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