are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.