oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?