oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.