just sent my roommate on a cheese run
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.