You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
