At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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