Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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