Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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