got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
