Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
