you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
