Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i believe in u and ur pee
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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