I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
