I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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