this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
