there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
farters have to be the big spoon...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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