Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Please don't give away my fajitas
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
