Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
