Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
