I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize