Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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