i need an iv and a liver transplant
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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