Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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