he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
