He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize