Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
