Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Even my vagina gasped.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
