It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
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i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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