Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just google imaged poop.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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