i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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