So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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