Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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