So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
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A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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