She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
