I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
