Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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