he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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