i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize