I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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