Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My feet surprised me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
