jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
