i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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