i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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