brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
