Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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