come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
