I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
