where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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