idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I see more hoeing in ur future
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
