sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
3 2 1 whiskey
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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