Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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