all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
