It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
