sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
