ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
