Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize