I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
