if i can run in heels then i can drive
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
