She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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