just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
