absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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